Written at 2:32 p.m. on Sunday, Feb. 08, 2009
I am absolutely without a doubt having the time of my life out here. Everything has been so good lately.
Things with the new guy are just moving right along. I just adore him. He's teases me by saying that I slightly tarnish his "street cred" when I call him sweet. I cant help it...he really is. He is so good to me.
Every time that he comes over here, he's bringing me something. Soup, sweatshirts (because I am always cold), pictures (for my walls), a heater (because I am always COLD)...the list could go on. Or when he leaves here and goes to work at night, he'll still call me before I go to bed. Sweet, right?
Today he met my family. He's still here so it cant be that bad. He met my uncle, both aunts and my cousin. My cousin came over to work on my radiator issue and he was out there giving him a hand. Cute. I thought that my uncle would be the one to worry about. But they got along good. Joking and laughing. Which is great. My uncle has become very much a father figure to me since I no longer have my father, so seeing that they get along was important to me.
I do still see a glimmer of the issues that I had with Matt come to the surface every now and then. But I have to just push them away. We were having a discussion about "other people" and he made a joking comment about the people online that I talk to...so I made a slightly less joking comment to him about how he's the one more likely to have "situations" where he could be with someone else. Definately not funny to him. We just king of left it at a You trust me...I trust you...now lets go to sleep stand. Works for me.
After I made the comment there was a BIG voice in my head saying Trac...be careful what you say here...Remember, you came out here for a fresh start...a fresh start only happens when you FULLY let go of the past. I just have to keep remembering that more often. I wont know what is going to happen. Whatever is going to happen will happen and there is nothing I can do. But if I say something wrong, it could mean the difference of driving someone away rather than letting them make the choice either way. And that is where I am leaving it.
I am so glad that my car is all nice and has been loved today. I am going to get up tomorrow and go see my Grandmother. I also got the driver's license issue taken care of too. They sent me a card that says my driver's license's expiration date is extended and will expire September 2009. You can bet I marked the date on my calendar. I need to get a Maryland driver's license long before September anyway.
So I am aiming for a nice quite night at home tonight. He's here now sleeping since he came here straight from work 9:00 this morning. So I am just going to let him sleep. I guess later on we'll have a nice dinner. He brought some chicken and stuff to have later. Sweet, right? I know...I just cant help letting him know though. He just melts me.