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Do you think about me now and then...Cuz I'm coming home again...
Written at 6:39 p.m. on Friday, Feb. 27, 2009

So today was "Tracey's big day out". I am coming ot terms with the fact that eventually I am going to have to leave the comforts of my "safie-safe" here and venture out into the real world. It still scares me a little.

Today I ventured down to see a friend near the airport. It took like 6 or 7 different freeways, beltways as they are called here, to get there. I am so glad that I had my GPS to get me to and from. Although I almost threw it out the window a few just didnt want to stay attached to my windsheld. Ugh...frustrating. But I did venture out and I am still alive to talk about it so that should count for something. It was such a beautiful sky on my drive home. Which was good because I could tell which direction California was. I do miss it there...sometimes.

Tomorrow I have to go down to my "hometown" and meet my cousin to go to her hair-person. She said this person's name, but I cant identify this person as male or female by it. So I have that to do tomorrow. Part of me is excited going back to my homeotwn...part of me is a bit scared. I want to drive through my neighborhood...I just am not entirely sure how I am going to react to it. I have always been one of those people who just cant help not trying to look directly at the sun...or swears that the next time she touches the stove, it just wont burn this time...I know its very naive thinking. I have plenty of burn scars to prove it.

My point is regardless of how much it may or may not hurt. I am going to want to drive past my old house. This house means a lot to me. Its where I grew up...its where mmy father took his very last breath. Its going to be interesting to go there. I spent my entire life on that street and so much has happened there. There is just so much history there for me. I just cant be that close and not drive by there. Masochistic? Perhaps.

The other day I was talking with "M" about meeting up with me after my hair appointment and going to Trader Joe's. He called tonight and I forgot to mention it nd remind him. When I had asked him a week or two ago if I was included in this Florida trip because he hadnt mentioned me going and always directed it as a me and not a we thing he said he didnt think he had to had to. So I was surprised when he called me a few days ago and asked me if I was going to go, I thought the same thing...I thought I was already included.

I am just not one to jump to assumptions with people...I assume nothing. I am always generally safer that way. And any new "relationship" is going to need questions like this so there are no assumptions. I know that for me its a way that I can verify that we are on the same page with certain things. I dont think that it is too much to ask.

So tonight he is out doing his karaoke thing. I am hoping that he is stilll planning on going to Trader Joe's tomorrow. If we do not do something outside of this house very soon, I am going to hit a wall here and have no chopice but to back up and go in another direction.

I guess tomorrow we will see.