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Remember those walls I built...well, baby they're tumbling down...and they didnt even out up a fight...they didnt even make a sound...I found a way to let you in...but I never really had a doubt...
Written at 11:07 a.m. on Monday, Mar. 23, 2009

Another wonderful Monday. I just cant seem to get motivated today. I keep getting little speedbumps that are making my motivation slower today.

First there is just the fact that since I am not working right now, my sleep pattern is really being thrown off. I didnt get to bed until 2:30 this morning...and that is a little earlier than normal. I need to get back on schedule again. I need a job.

I got a call from "New Mike" this morning. He was on his way to work. I guess yesterday he had his son. He had mentioned that he has a soccer thing tonight...that is if he is needed. I asked him what he is doing if he isnt. He said that he hadnt thought that far yet. I asked him if he wanted to do something tonight if he didnt...he said he did. I may have made a small mistake and stumbled a little bit with "Big Mike" yesterday. But I am over that. Totally. "New Mike" just makes more sense to me. He is easy to get along with and to talk to. When I feel like I've said or done something that feels major to me, he just makes it right again. He just gives me this 'Its no big deal' attitude. I feel like he's alot like me in a lot of ways. I am sure that is a good thing for me...bad for the world. Two of us...together...CHAOS.

So this morning I start getting texts from Tom. He is telling me that he is going to be calling me in a few...then another asking if I am going to be home and can he stop by. I'm he calling or coming over? Some men should come with manuals. Since I started this entry, he did call and said that he is leaving work in a few and coming over here. He almost sounds like there is something wrong in his voice. And it wasnt even in his voice...I could almost hear it in his text messages. He was eager, yet not so eager, about talking and seeing me. Not sure what that is about. Guess we'll find out in about 10 mins when he gets here.