You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized, and I just got to know...Do you ever think, when you're all alone...all that we can be, where this thing can go...Am I crazy or falling in love...Is it really just another crush...
Written at 9:23 p.m. on Saturday, Mar. 28, 2009
He showed up in his soccer gear...and left in his little chef outfit. He's so cute. I'm not sure which one I like better.
He called me and said that he was running behind and asked if he could shower at my house. I had already told him earlier that he could. He said that his soccer thing had run later than he thought and that he was short on time. I think it was convenience. He needed to take a shower here because he didnt have enough time to go all the way home to shower and then go to work. Its things like these that get the hamster spinning.
We had a great night together. I love waking up next to him. Feeling his arm around me. I just know that I've been down this road a time or two before...and I know the probable outcome. I am one of those girls that keeps hoping that this one will be different. They rarely ever are. And I'm getting tired of wiping off my knees when I fall. Because I just cant keep from falling. And I fall hard when I fall.
I havent pushed at all with him. I havent asked too many questions either. But I cant help wondering where I stand with him. I cant help wondering what he feels and what he thinks. We've had a few talks about things, but nothing about what this is or where its going. And I'm getting a little curious to know. Because we just clicked so well...even he admits that openly. But I need to know what he is wanting out of all of this. If I am going to fall again, I need to know how much to brace myself. I am falling for him. Hard. I just need to know how mutual or askew it really is.
I am not wanting to get too personal here, so without saying too much let me just say that last night he moved this to a totally different playing field. And because of that, he has me nervous and a bit itchy. I'm not comfortable with where he took this to last night and it gets my mind working overtime. Because for my own peace of mind I need to understand what is going on here and what this is all about.
After talking with Becca about this, she has convinced me to just let it ride for another week or two...then worry about things. He has enough red flags blowing wildly at this time and I do not need to send another one up the flagpole. So yeah, just going to let it be for a week or two. I am going to listen to that inner voice, Becca, and hold steady.