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And I wonder if truly you are nearly as beautiful as I believe...
Written at 12:48 p.m. on Monday, Jun. 01, 2009

Ahh, another monday morning. Well, its kinda afternoon now, but whatever.

I had another great weekend. The New Guy came up and spent the weekend with me...again. I have to admit that I was a little anxious to see him and wasnt sure exactly what time he was coming up...so at 8:30 in the morning I texted him Wakie, wakie and about 15 minutes later he called back and said that he just got out of the shower and would be up soon. So I jumped in the shower too.

Saturday we went and played Bar Trivia again. I totally kicked ass this time...I even surprised myself. We had a very nice dinner with it and had a lot of fun. I had a few (too many) vodka & cranberry drinks. It was so cute...if I needed to use the restroom, he would walk down with me and wait outside the bathroom for me. Even when we got home and I was still stumbling around, he made sure I was okay. It was so cute.

Sunday we went to the grocery store to get dinner. It was a little hot out and I was tired by the time we got back to the house. I was feeling a little worn out and he kept offering me his hand and help. I am still not good at needing anyone for anything. I just kept saying no and telling him I was sorry that I was feeling so bad and that I didnt like that he was seeing me like this. He just kept telling me Dont apologize...apologies are for things you do that you have control over and things that are your fault...this isnt your fault. It made me feel a little bit better...a little. He really is a nice guy.

Perhaps, just perhaps, I was too quick to make a snap judgement of him last weekend. I have a tendancy to do that sometimes. Its like an old quote I remember hearing in high school, I think it was Oscar Wilde, that said something about believing the worst in all men until proven otherwise. I do that a lot. But this one definately deserves a little slack. I saw a completely different side of him this weekend. It was a more sensible, walls-down side. I liked it. It kind of helped get some of my own walls down, too. I think last weekend I wasnt as familiar with his sense of humor as I was this weekend. He is very charming.

I am too critical of people...and myself. One thing I didnt like was how citical of himself that he is. I know that is very hypocritical...or as he says 'a double standard'. But he must have made 50 comments about his weight. I think he is very sensitive about that. I wish he wasnt. He says that he has gained some weight and is getting fat...and makes jokes about how fat he's going to be in a year. One thing I am hoping is that we both help get each other off our ass's. I ordered a recumbent bike for my house and he offered to put it together this coming weekend when it gets here. I also told him that eating out is now a thing of the past...I'm cooking from now on. When we did eat out Saturday, we got a big salad. I need to eat better to feel better.

Oh, another thing I thought was adorable is that he was initially intending to go home last night because he needed to get up early this morning for work...instead he stayed and just got up a little earlier to allow for time to go home and get work clothes. I dont think he knows how I appreciate the little things like this. And I think its just way too early to tell him. I'd rather just enjoy how things are at the moment and not put too much emphasis on things yet.

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