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Someday we'll know if love can move a mountain...someday we'll know why the sky is blue...
Written at 11:47 p.m. on Wednesday, Jun. 17, 2009

Okay, well...I havent really been on here because, well, I didnt have much to say until today.

I think I mentioned my family member, Bridgette, that gave me that tarot reading back in April. Well, she told me that I would meet a guy...a water sign, probably a Pisces...that owns his own business...is blonde...was married once, now divorced...has one child, probably a daughter. Hmmm.

Well, Bridgette calls me Sunday and is asking me if I am seeing anyone. Nope...noone. So she tells me that I shouldnt date right now...that I need to focus on school and on getting settled before I date. I agree with her on that. So I get off the phone with her and I am in the shower and I am thinking...I do my best thinking in the shower. So I am thinking about how I really shouldnt date anyone right now...and how I should probably cancel a certain membership I have somewhere and just hang low for a while. As I am getting on the site to cancel, I get a message from this guy...I dont know why, but I just joined here. I was telling him that I was just about to cancel. So we start just talking to each other in a few funny emails. One of them said that I was something else. So I wrote him back saying You have no idea...you havent even talked to me on the phone yet. To which, he emails me his phone number and tells me to call him.

I did. And he was so nice and made me laugh so much. So as a joke, I tell him about my tarot reading. He is telling me how its him...he is who I am looking for. He just knows it...has this gut feeling. Everything she had said about the guy did describe him perfectly. So I decide to play a How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days number on him. I am just telling him all the depth that is just Tracey. I am laying it all out there...my disease, my BS and issues with the guys I have met lately. Everything. And this guy is not flinching a bit.

We've been spending alot of time talking about things on the phone. He just kept telling me You cant really be this nice. So when we decided to make plans to meet, panic set in for me. I told him last night on the phone This will either be good...or very good...we will meet and either click right away...or I will have at least met a very good friend for life...I know that I want you to be someone in my life...even if it is just a friend. So we made plans to meet up today.

We went to Dunkin Donuts and picked up blueberry coffee and blueberry muffins. I decided that I wanted to be a little adventurous and go see some places. So we drove the scenic route to 'the bridge' and sat there talking and drinking our coffee. "The bridge" is a little place we went to in high school and partied at. This was the first time I think I was there drinking something other than alcohol. So we sat there talking about everything. It was so nice. He told me I want you to be able to let your guard down...I know its going to take time...but at least be open to it.

When I get back home, I get this call from Patty. She lives very close to this guy. I told her that I just met this guy who lives near her and would it be ok to sometimes stay the night at her house when I dont want to drive all the way back. So she asks me about this guy. She wants to know his name because she is ready to drive to his house and question him on his intentions in person...so I tell her. Is he related to the ones that own the (whatever she said)? Yes, he talked about his parents owning something. So Patty tells me that her and her husband know the family, but that her husband knows the guy. So she comes back from babbling with her husband about it and says Phil does know this guy and he really is as sweet as you think he is...he and his family are very family-oriented...basically you have a good catch there that you dont want to get away.

I really did know that before I got on the phone with her. I didnt need her approval on him...but it sure did feel good. Because I really do see this side of him that just makes me wonder "this cant be real". But he is...oh boy, is he ever. He is just so genuinely sweet. And well, I told him tonight when he called me before bed, that I told myself that all the BS and baggage gets left in California...that a fresh start deserves a clean ending...and that if we were going to try for something, that someone's got to go first...so I guess its me...and I will leave behind all the bad shit thats happened and give him a fair shot. I also told him thats its not right if we dont start off with a lot of trust and that I will go out on a limb and show him my efforts in wanting to trust him.

I think it will be the smartest move I've made yet. He's just that much worth it.

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