So after all that yesterday, I finally talked to him. He said that he wanted to cook his mom dinner and then would be over...
...that is so not what happened...
Again, I was left here with no phone call wondering WTF. So this morning when he called and said that he was on his way for coffee...well, me....I was ready to light his ass up like a Christmas Tree in Rockefeller Center at Winter. I could almost hear the "Round 1" bells going off.
So when he got here, I started making the coffee. He started talking about how tired he was and how he's been up since 3 am...and I couldnt help jumping in with Hold that thought...we'll get there, believe me we'll be getting to that...I just need coffee first. And I let him go first...
He basically said that later in the afternoon on Saturday, his mother's (I think he said shunt) tubing ruptured and he had to take her to the hospital. He said that he didnt even think about his phone because he had to hold her stomache and get her to the car so they could get to the hospital. Then when he called Sunday morning and explained that and planned to cook dinner for Mom and be over after that...that he didnt plan on falling asleep and waking up at 3 am...too early to call.
Hmpft! Ok...I am buying the Mom and the hospital thing. He did meantion that she had some tubing whatever in her side. And he did mention she drank ALOT. And I am even buying the "I fell asleep" excuse. The twinkie excuse IS more believable at this present time...but, whatever. So I tell him that I understood. And I went on to say that HOWEVER, while I understand that there are going to be times that things just happen, I am going to need him to respect me enough to leave the lines of communication open. And to call...and try not to just stand me up.
I explained it to him like "New Mike" explained it to me...You tend to be vague...and that leaves blank spaces and it forces someone to fill those blank spaces...not always with accurate conclusions...and that is why if he ever wants this to work...I cant deal with vagueness. I need us to be on the same page.
I also told him that while I dont necessarily consider myself a high-maintenance girl, that there is a level of respect that I do demand of someone that I am dating. And not allowing them to stand me up two nights in a row is not nearing that level. BUT, that I did understand that it was a rare isolate incident so I understood this. When he used a "Matt-like" response of When I woke up at 3 am and realized what happened...I knew it was too early to call...I could only explain that I'd rather get that 3 am phone call than wake up every hour on the hour pissed off each time that I didnt hear from him.
I do trust him. I know what he's been through with his past relationships...so that isnt really the issue here. Its about telling me that you're going to do something...and dont. I am not having that. We dont need to be in each other's face 24 - 7, so I understand him wanting to stay home...but dont tell me you're coming over and not show up or call. So when I asked what he was doing later and he said he wanted to come back and that he'd call...I had to ask about what time. HE gave me a 3-4:00 window...he's got about 35 mins left.
So we'll see....