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Written at 2:45 p.m. on Saturday, Aug. 29, 2009

I should be on a plane right now...but I'm not. I think about this every few minutes...I just cant shake it.

I found out that he did, in fact, cancel my plane ticket. However, there is no credit to go back to a credit card...the money sits as a credit on file that ONLY I can use. He can do nothing about that...its airline regulation. So at least I get a future trip out of this.

He texted me a day or two ago asking what my email address is because he said he had info to send me. He doesnt know that I know about the cancellation credit. He ended up not sending me the email saying he changed his mind and didnt send it. There is no info I need from him anyway.

I am not sure what game he is trying to play. A few texts later, he tells me Say hey to your man. He is thinking that I am doing something with my landlord because a few times when he worked on my ceiling, I didnt answer my phone. I got dont answer your phone...youre hard to get a hold of...everything. He said that it might not be my landlord...but someone. I dont get it...but, whatever. He wouldnt talk to me on the phone or online....just texts.

Its the same thing as "New Mike" matter what I say, I am the liar. When it comes down to the same thing...Why would I lie about it...I am NOONE'S girlfriend...if I did, I could freely admit it...why lie.

This morning, I got up kind of early and headed out for coffee and donuts for the kids coming over. I was so upset on my way home thinking about him in beautiful Orange County...where I should be at...enjoying MY home town in MY familiar places. I took a long drive and ended up at "The Bridge". I had to pull over and sit quiietly for a few minutes. There were only a few fishermen there, so I could do that.

I got home and was still a little heated. Especially at 12 noon when I knew that his plane was taxi'ing out on the runway and about to take off. Hurt quickly turned to sadness...and sadness very quickly turned to anger. And when anger gets me...I lose control of all that is right and wrong...I just want the other person to feel the jab just a little bit. I havent felt this much anger since Matt. And this guy brought it all out in just one experience. He MAY just be better at mind games than Matt.

So...I tried to resist the urge...and I just couldnt...the force was too strong. (covering face in MUCH shame) I called and cancelled his hotel reservation. Not the worst part...because it was cancelled today and within the 48 hours they require, one night and 12% tax are going to be charged to his card. So when he gets to his hotel tonight after all day flying and is exhausted and tired and just wants to go to his room...he will find out that he doesnt have one. Of course, more than likely they will just give him another room...but he'll think of me. Oh yeah...he sure will. I am sorry that I did this...I just couldnt help it after all that he did.

This is why you need to be careful who you piss never know.

So...any volunteers for answering my phone around 10:00 tonight? He might not be that pissed off...but I know that a phone call will be coming.