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Dont leave me here with my restless heart
Written at 2:36 p.m. on Monday, Feb. 10, 2003

Ok, so I was going to plan this whole Valentine's day thing, then something came to mind...its friday night...and he works.


So far I am not liking anything about this job. It has caused nothing but problems. And it isnt his fault, but I cant help but feel let down a little.

He told me that he will see if he can get that night off so that we can do something. If not, he promises that we will do something fun on Saturday. Yeah, well Saturday is not Valentine's day.

And its not like I have never spent a Valentine's day at home alone. I just have never spent a Valentine's day at home alone when I had a boyfriend. But I guess Saturday will have to do.

We talked about going to Disneyland or up to the Getty Museum. I dont particularly want to go to Disneyland on Valentine's day. I did that years back with "MrApronStrings". I want to do something new and different with "MrBigDaddy". I dont want a recycled Valentine's day.

I just want him to find a nice daytime, 9 to 5 job that wont intrude on my time with him. Yes, I am aware that makes me selfish.

Friday, we both accidentally overslept so he never made it into work. I am afraid that I may be trying to sabotage this job for him. Because in my head I was glad that he overslept and I was secretly hoping that he would get fired.

Until then, I am going to cross my fingers that he can get the day off. I really hate this job.