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And I'm not gonna bend, and I'm not gonna break, and I'm not gonna worry about it anymore...
Written at 9:16 a.m. on Friday, Feb. 14, 2003

So here it is...Valentine's Day. (rolls eyes vigorously)

Well, let me start with last night. Somehow "MrBigDaddy" and I got talking about kids again. This time he brought it up. And deeper into the conversation he said, "Yes I would leave, I would still be your friend and help you out, but I would leave. I want a girlfriend, not a mother".

That was so uncool to say. It makes me not even want to have sex with him anymore.

Then when he left for work, he contemplated whether he was going to come back in the morning or not before I left for work. I told him that its Valentine's Day and that it would be nice. So he said that he would be back in the morning...but when morning came...he wasnt there. And when I left, he still wasnt there.

Then on top of that, "MrLightening" called me last night. He was acting really weird and being really quiet. I know this sounds mean, but I have things to do...and listening to someone breathe on the other end while not saying anything isnt one of them.

He called this morning and said he was feeling better. So I asked him what was wrong with him. His answer..."I was so high". My response..."Well, next time you are so high, dont call me". And then I pretty much hung up from there.

So Valentine's Day is really starting off with a bang for me. I think that bang is the sound of me shooting myself and putting me out of my misery.

I am determined to have a great day regardless. I simply refuse to bend anymore.