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I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to make you cry...
Written at 9:47 p.m. on Wednesday, Feb. 12, 2003

I am finally feeling good. I have finally, despite all the rain we are having in California, come out from under that black cloud.

Tonight "MrBigDaddy" said something that just made me glow from the inside out. We were talking about alcohol, for some reason. He was talking about how he realizes now that people use drugs and alcohol as an escape from life. Then he said that he hasnt had the slightest want to drink or do drugs because he is happy.

I will take that as a compliment towards my good girlfriend abilities. I must say that I am actually pretty happy myself. We just need to work on this job thing, because I dont like watching him leave every night to go off to work. I hate it. But its getting easier every day.

My only moral dilema for the day is what to do with "MsMoHoney"'s birthday. She made mention in her diary (missmosey) that she is a little hurt about me possibly not making it on Saturday. I feel horrible. Its not a personal attack against her. Its just that we ("MrBigDaddy" and I) decided to celebrate Valentine's day on Saturday.

I dont know what to do about that. I dont want to hurt anyone's feeling either way.