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All day, all day, watch them all fall down...all day, all day, domino dancing
Written at 12:16 a.m. on Tuesday, Feb. 04, 2003

Today I finally made it to see the Opthamologist.

It wasnt nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. Although she didnt really tell me anything that I didnt already know. I walked in there suspecting I had Optic Neuritis...and I walked out of there knowing I had it.

I explained to her that while I may not be a medical doctor, I am a hypochondriac with a Symptoms, Illness and Surgery book. That is a deadly combo.

I basically had to stay on the doctors about diagnosing me with MS. They kept telling me it was a slipped disc in my back...or circulation. I had to keep asking them, "Are you sure it isnt MS?" until I was finally diagnosed.

So I knew what I was walking into today. But yet she ran every test on my possible. Which I am glad that she did. It made me more comfortable.

But whomever it was that designed that test where they blow air into your eye should be tortured until a slow, painful death has occured. Nothing more uncomfortable than being blown across the room by a little "puff" of air. Because that is basically what happened to me. I jerked my head back so fast that I hit it on a piece of equipment that was behind me.

So she gave me a perscription for some kind of steroid to reduce the inflammation of the nerve in my eye. I cant wait until I can fully see again. But if I start growing any kind of facial or chest hair, this still will be discontinued immediately.

When I got back to work, my aunt(boss) told me to just go home for the day. My pupils had been dilated and I was having a little trouble seeing. More than normal I should say. So I got in my car and drove home Mr Magoo style.

When I got home, I tried to call "MrBigDaddy" to see how his job-thing went. He told me that his car broke down and that he was getting it towed. Which in turn meant that he wouldnt be home tonight.

Thankfully "MsAngelic" called to see if I wanted to come over and even offered to pick me up since I couldnt/shouldnt drive. So I went over to her house for dinner. "Ms2inchman" came over and joined us later. I really have missed the three of us hanging out and doing things. I really miss my life...the way that it was.

I am just starting to get little pieces back here and there. And I am really starting to feel more confident about that now for the first time in a long time.

For a while there, I didnt know what I wanted to do with myself. My future. But its starting to get a little clearer to me now. I know I need to stop saying that I am going to do things and just do them. Nothing ever gets accomplished when you're sitting around on your ass, right?

I know one thing I keep saying that I am going to do, but never do is get back to school. I stopped going when I had all of this health stuff going on. Well, its better now and I have to get back in the swing of it again. I have already missed this semester. But next semester, I am back in there.

If I can get the ball rolling in one aspect or another...maybe it will have a domino effect and everything else will start falling into place.

It just has to.

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