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So much more than this...there is something out there
Written at 9:00 a.m. on Tuesday, Feb. 11, 2003

I have this aching need to prove that I am going to be someone someday.

I dont know if it's because I have my ten year reunion coming up and I have been reading what everyone is up to. And it seems like everyone has already carved their path. Whether it be a doctor or starting a family...they know their place. I havent quite figured that out yet. I cant even decide what state I want to live in.

I do know that I am getting back into school next semester, no matter what. I only need a few more classes before I am able to transfer.

And this isnt because I feel the need to prove something at the reunion. I have something I need to prove to myself. That I can do it...on my own. Being independent is something that is very important to me.

I have prided myself in the fact that I moved away from home at 18 and never went back. That I have never had to borrow money from anyone. That everything I have is because I worked hard for it, not because it was handed to me. I love that feeling...of independence.

Sure, my life would have been easier if I would have gotten married to some man and expected him to take care of me and my 2.4 kids while I sat at home watching soap operas eating bon-bons. But that is not how I was programmed.

Husband and kids? Well, that is later on down the road. I have bigger things out there waiting for me. Bigger dreams to make come true first.