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I wanna make something beautiful, but I cant find inspiration
Written at 10:28 a.m. on Tuesday, Feb. 04, 2003

So last night was the first night in a long time that I slept alone. And, you know, it didnt bother me as much as I thought that it would.

I was up until about 3 am, just laying in bed watching tv. That's something that I rarely do anymore. Lately, I have been so tired that I fall asleep around 9 or 10.

One thing that I really, really want to do today is go the art supply store and buy some stuff. I want to get back into my drawings and paintings. For some reason, I just got totally inspired being over at "MrLightening"'s house the other day. I've got so many creative ideas that I want to run with.

This is going to make me sound like a total hippie when I say this, but I want to get up early on the weekends and take a yoga class. Then I want to spend hours sitting on the beach just sketching pictures.

Because I have something inside of me that I can feel is just waiting and wanting to be released.

I hope its the happiness that I keep dreaming about.