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I need a lover that wont drive me crazy...
Written at 11:10 a.m. on Thursday, Feb. 20, 2003

Last night, when he finally woke up, we had a conversation about the giving and takings of a relationship.

I brought up my aunt and uncle. She called me yesterday from the car dealership and was telling me about how she is trading her car in for a new one. She didnt seem excited about it and I called her on it. She said that she wasnt...my uncle wants her to get a new Mercedes, but she really wants a Jaguar convertible.

I just didnt get it. And I tried to emphasize this to her. She is the one who is going to be driving the new car, so she should get what she wants to drive. When she mentioned to him that he could trade his car in for this new Mercedes, he said that he didnt really like this particular car. Why then, would he want her to get this car if he didnt even like it himself?

But none of that is neither here nor there. Its the fact that she feels that she has no other option than to comply with his wishes. I look at the women in my family so devoted to their husbands that they feel their wants arent important anymore. I am all for being devoted to your significant other...as long as you arent losing a part of yourself to do it.

When I went back home for the holidays, I saw it everywhere. I watched my cousin out in the garage sneaking cigarettes, while my aunt was down in the basement sneaking drinks...all so their husbands wouldnt know.

And in our conversation about this last night, "MrBigDaddy" was saying that what these women are doing is wrong, no one owns anyone. While I know that is true, I dont think people in relationships should walk around saying, "I can do whatever I want without regard to you, you dont own me". Its about finding that middle balance, the happy medium.

But how do you find that middle balance, because it isnt so easy for us sometimes. Because there are these times when I swear he forgets that he is in a relationship and thinks he can do whatever it is he wants to do without repercussions. But if I try to pull off the same exact thing, fahget abowdit! But we are trying to work on these little things. I just dont do baby steps very well...I just want to grab him by the sleeve and say "Can we walk a little faster, please?"

So tonight, he is fully aware that he needs to be awake for me. Today is "MsMoHoney"'s birthday. She has been down alot lately about things, so I am going to stop on the way home and get a cake and some ice cream for her. (Feel free to stop by and give her some love...missmosey...as I am sure she would appreciate it. Tell her I sent ya! Maybe it will entice her to update more.)

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