I am so glad that this day is over and done with. Day one is over! That is, assuming if day 1 really is the hardest to get over with.
I spent all day today at work thinking about him. I would be sitting at work and thinking...he might be in Arizona right now. Things like that. For instance, it 10:00 here...and I am wondering if he is still driving or if he has stopped for the night at a motel. Things I shouldnt be thinking about.
I had my ups and downs today. I called my aunt back in MD today to talk to her about my options. She is more than willing to help me get started over out there. She is going to look into jobs for me and talk to people. I cant stress enough that I would have to find a job with kick-ass medical benefits. That is a must. I think everything will piece together fine.
So after work, I came home and went with "MsMoHoney" to have dinner at her family's house. It was really nice. We laughed so much I almost forgot about everything. Almost! It was just really nice to be out and with other people rather sitting home wallowing in my self pity and misery. Contrary to popular belief...Ben & Jerry are not really true friends. They, too, are conditional.
Right now is that hardest part. Coming home to an empty house. Getting online and him not being there. I still have his towels exactly where he left them. I am ready to crawl into bed and I am thinking...there should be someone else here with me, HE should be here with me. But he's not and that is hard. There is nobody here to talk to until I fall asleep. It's hard to come to the realization that HE REALLY IS GONE! I keep saying it repeatedly like a mantra. It doesnt help though. Just makes the pain worse. I want him back!