You are looking at the happiest girl alive. Well, you arent exactly looking at me...listening to me is more the operative word. I feel so giddy I could scream.
I just got a call from "MrCuriousGeorge". WooHoo! It was so nice to hear his voice. We talked for a little while. He was telling me that he was talking to "MsBoobsalot" and told her "That Tracey is cool chick". I guess she asked "Cooler than me" and he said "Yes"! Double woo hoo! I miss him so much.
Again we danced around me coming out there. He asked me again if I was. He told me I should take a leap of faith. I told him it is scary that he says that. That is what I have been telling people...that I am about to take a leap of faith. It reminded me of that scene from Meet Joe Black. So when he asked me why it was scary that he said that...I replied "It was so right it was scary", just like she did in the movie. He just kept telling me to do it. He also mentioned that he has his own place out there. So I made a comment about "Make some room" and he said something like "yeah, come on out". Dont tell me things like that because however you meant it, all I hear is "move out here, live with me and we'll be happy forever". So dont say things like that you dont mean. I am a girl, an over analytical girl, and I will tear apart your words and create my own meaning from them. So we talked until his food came. He said he was going to call me back. I dont know if that meant tonight or sometime later.
There were a few things that he said that bugged me. One thing was that he said all he is going to do back there is get drunk and go to hockey games. That part would not normally bother me except I keep seeing "MrBigDaddy" in my face saying "he is going to sleep with every girl he meets. He wont be faithful to you"...and I want to drive to his house right now and strangle him for putting that thought in my head. Then, somehow we got talking about three-some. He said one day he is "gonna hook it up". I asked him why he was telling me this and he said "you and someone else". No baby, I am too selfish to share. Thanks but I think I will pass and if you do it, I will cut your manhood off and slap you in the face with it. Do I need to say it any clearer to you?
So I hope that he calls back because I can tell by our conversation that if we were to talk about "us" right now, alot of things would come out and it would be a very beneficial conversation. And that is what I reall want right now. Fuck the "perhaps". Perhaps isnt doing anything for me right now. I put her up on the shelf with Faith and Hope...all bitches. Its the "perhaps" that gives Hope her power and energy to keep going. That flicker of Hope that burns.