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Too proud to turn around...he's gone
Written at 2:26 a.m. on Sunday, Aug. 04, 2002

Today was fun. I thoroughly enjoyed my day.

My friend back home, "MsJarvis" (cant think of a better name for her at the moment, will probably change it later), called and we talked for hours. It was really nice.

Then I went and picked up "Ms2inchman" and we went down to the harbor to have lunch and look at the shops. It was such a nice day to take a walk down there. I finished off my roll of film there, so we went and hung out waiting for my film to develop for what felt like forever. He just kept telling me "five more minutes, ma'am". First, Jose, five minutes is uno, dos, tres, quatro, cinco...not the hour and a half you had me wait. Second, I am not a ma'am...I am 26 yrs old...call me Miss, please.

So I went home and got online for a while. I talked to "MrCuriousGeorge" for a little bit. I kept it a "casual non-thinking conversation". We didnt really talk about anything of importance. I am sad to say...I am cutting this one loose. I can only try for so long and not get reciprocated without needing to turn away. I cant keep waiting for him to make up his mind, that he changes on a daily basis, to realize what he has. Its too late.

So, tonight I went out with "Ms2inchman", her boyfriend ("MrFetish"), and her mom. We went to Prime Slime for a bit, then some bowling alley and then...DUH DUH DUH..."Cheers"!!! It really wasnt so bad. I dont want to start going there again, but I didnt want to kill someone or myself nonetheless. It was really nice to see some people. Some people I really could have done without. I wont mention any names either way.

So "Ms2inchman" and "MrFetish" are spending the night tonight. I am so happy to see those two so happy. They really make the cutest couple.

I think I am going to be alright. I have been thinking alot about things lately and I think I will survive. I dont know what the future holds for me yet, but I do know that I am ready for whatever is to come. Will take it all one day at a time.

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