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I'm not your bitch, dont hang your shit on me
Written at 9:23 p.m. on Thursday, Aug. 08, 2002

Damn, I thought this day was never going to end.

I was just having one of those weird days today. I feel a little bit better having come to a decision about my life and in what direction I want to go.

Remember when I said I was going to bring everyone home, one by one? I really didnt beleive it possible. Well, "MsAngelic" sent me a text message saying that she was coming home for good. Apparently, her man turned out to be a typical male after all. My heart goes out to her. She gave up EVERYTHING for this man and for what, the lack of loyalty she is receiving. Her true friends and family are here, waiting for her to come home.

So, I had another moral dilema today. I kinda feel bad about this one, but kinda not. "MrBigDaddy" has gone M.I.A. on me. I have been trying to reach him for several days now about our cell phone bills. I have called, left voicemails and text messages. All to no avail. So, I called up and had our plans split and I turned his off. I couldnt let it go another month. He is racking up $160 phone bills each month...and considering he hasnt paid for two months, I didnt want to add another month to it. So not only do I now have to pay about $320 in phone bills for two months but now I can add a $150 early termination fee to it all.

I simply refuse to continue to be anyone's doormat any longer. People only continue to get away with it because I let them. Like this morning, my boss (uncle) comes up to me and apologizes for snapping at me yesterday, he was in a bad mood. Being in a bad mood does not give you the right to treat people like shit. So, as I was accepting his apology I realized that we have had this conversation a million times, it really wasnt deja vu. He continues to do it because I enable him to. Because I so readily forgive him, he now knows he can do it repeatedly because a simple "I am sorry" will get him off the hook. I had to accept his apology, because realistically how do you tell your boss to take his apology and shove it up his ass...without getting fired?

After work I came home to spend a nice quiet night at home doing absolutely nothing. Shortly after I got home, "MrCuriosGeorge" called. I think he was in Ohio, maybe just outside of Cleveland??? So we talked for a little bit. I havent told him yet that I am not planning on coming out there. I need to just say it instead of waiting for the right moment. He said he would call me later...maybe then.

Well, that call came later. He was in Pittsburgh. I still didnt tell him. I dont think it matters to him either way. Being as he has his "own gig going" and all. I mentioned that to him today and all he could respond with was "oh, hush" followed by a chuckle. I am glad that he found it so amusing, I surely didnt. I am not finding much amusing these days. So, he said he might call me again later on if its not too late here or if he gets really tired. We'll see...

I am attempting yet again to clean my room tonight. I STILL havent moved his towels. There are still hanging on the back of the bathroom door exactly where he left them. When I am good and ready to move them, I will. I am still in my grieving period. There's no hurry. Everyday gets a little bit easier.

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