MISSING: A vibrant girl who loved life and lived it to its fullest. She never gave up on anything. She had hopes and dreams infinite. She was full of tenacity. If found, tell her to come back...I miss her!
The person that I was 8 years ago exists no more. She was happy. Even when things got bad, she was still happy. The world could knock her over and she'd laugh, brush it off and get back up. The person I am now just throws her hands in the air and surrenders. I am breathing and existing, but I am not really living.
I have come to the realization today that I have become everything I never wanted to be. I have become that person so angry at the world. I have become that pessimistic person who never sees the light at the end of the tunnel. I can no longer see the beauty in things. It is sad, but I cant remember the last time I was truly happy, truly at peace with everything. I have become this wallowing mess of self pity. But...No more!!!
Today marked a turning point for me. A cornerstone of sorts. I feel relief already. My first step in this journey was to get things financially straightened out. I think I have succeeded at that. Just having that weight off my shoulders is such an alleviation. I can hardly contain myself. I am halfway there, to the place that I want to be.
I may not find the person I used to be. That girl might be gone forever. But that doesnt mean I have to be this person. I can start with a fresh canvas and create something new. Paint a new person with endless possibilities. Anything is possible.
The journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step.