I almost dont want to go home tonight.
I have always rushed right home after work to spend what time I could with him. Now, I want to spend as much time as possible away from there. It almost doesnt feel like home to me anymore. God, I just hate this.
Please explain to me why it is that I have been through this a hundred times before, yet it never gets any easier. Actually, it seems to only be getting harder.
And why is it that out of all the people that he knows, it was me that he called back in December? I wish he hadnt. I was doing fine before he came along. I didnt think about him, didnt wonder how he was...nothing. Then he comes along and blows like a tornado through my life. Leaving behind nothing but a big mess for me to clean up.
I am tired of constantly having to put the pieces back together again. Maybe I'm just tired period. I just want to crawl into bed, pull the covers up over my head and stay there indefinitely.