This is how I know that my life has changed out here...I feel so wrapped up in the love of the people around me that it chokes me up...often. My life has totally changed out here...and its still changing every day. The pieces just seem to fit...without force.
I love days like this where things just seem to fall in to place without much effort. It literally takes my breath away because I look back at the times that I felt like I was about to be overtaken with defeat and am so glad that I just never gave up. Giving up was just never an option for me. As long as I said that I was trying, that meant that I had some fight left in me. And its finally starting to pay off for me.
Things with this job are coming along nicely. I should be down taking my drug test right now, but I am waiting for the clothes in the dryer to finish. I have a few more hours to make it down there today. And I am very confident that I will pass it. I just have to...no other way around it. (Fingers crossed)
I also got a phone call from my infusion case manager about my next infusion. I have been putting it off because the amount of all of the doctors visits are eating up my bank account...one big bite at a time. So he tells me that there is a group down at Johns Hopkins that I can see and that they have funding for people that dont have insurnce. Johns Hopkins? Really? That is the BIGGEST hospital for MS research in the country...and if I can get in there for next to nothing...or nothing at all...I would love for that to happen. Talking to my uncle today I realized that it might be about 6 months for my health insurance at this job to kick in.
So when I spoke to the woman at Hopkins she was already brought up to speed with my situation as was very confident that they could help me. There is another weight lifted off my shoulders. I would love for a specialist at Hopkins to handle and oversee my healthcare.
I had another good conversation with my uncle again today. I admit that I am not always good at keeping up a connection with someone and almost have to rely on them to call me and keep up with me. So I am very happy that he does this if too much time has passed and he doesnt hear from me. I love that he is a little over-possessive of me and doesnt let me get far. He asked me if I wanted to go to church with them this Sunday. As thankful as I am at this very moment...you bet. My family really does make me feel so good...and safe.
It just amazes me when I have good days like these. It makes me feel happy that things are going forward in the directon that I need them to go. I'm going to get there.
I have looked at all of this as a healthy challenge from the very beginning. I needed to prove my strength to myself. I needed to know that I wouldnt give up on something. That if I took the hardest thing I've ever done and made it work...I could make anything work. And this has definately been the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life. I moved out to Maryland from California with a million obstacles in the way...and I did hurdles over them all.
It amazes me every day....